How Not to Lose Your Virginity

I never believed in karma before this happened. I got ready for
homecoming, all spiffed up and looking dead sexy like I do! Well I go
and pick up my date Marie and all is going well. We arrive at the
dance and I present my date/girlfriend with a necklace that took me
six months to save for. She is ecstatic; we make out for five minutes
and proceed to the dance. "I'm thinking I'm so getting laid tonight.
Tonight is the night!"

We dance for about an hour and take pics blah blah. And then we sit
down for a drink and to talk. Well her 5 friends are there with us,
and she fucking dumps me right then and there.

I was like, WTF? All of her friends were stunned and kinda pissed at
her. Well me too. She immediately pulls this guy over and states "This
is john he is my new bf, and we have to go." And leaves the dance with
some other dude.

So she leaves me dateless, pissed, and short one EXPENSIVE ass
necklace. Well her best friends Jessica and Heather swoop in and
Jessica tries to make me feel better. (And btw Jessica is HOT! Damn
Hot! And a cheerleader!) But I was too hurt and upset to notice. So we
talk and dance. Well low and behold I get elected homecoming king. I'm
stoked! The night rounds down and we all start to leave but Jessica is
left alone by her girlfriends, so I offered to take her home. I think
"Well this night isn't a total wash." We walk to my truck and low and
behold John had parked right next to me! And he was fucking my
girlfriend right there in his car next to my truck. Oh my god was I
pissed! But I said fuck it.

I drive her home, and she is talking dirty to me the entire way to her
house. I figure she just likes me and didn't get my hopes up. Well
half way to her place she tells me to pull over in this spot off a
dirt road. So I said "ok" and did. She began to kiss me and one thing
led to another and we're getting it on.

I told myself before I had sex I wanted to try everything she'd let me
do to her. And I did. I had her give me head and she was excellent!
Then started missionary, next we went to her on top and lastly doggy.
This is impressive considering this is an 83 single cab chevy truck.
Well I finish out and take her home. We talk over the weekend and I
tell her I will see her on Monday.

Monday arrives I wake up and everything seems normal. My mom, brother
and sis had already left for school my dad was still asleep, so I roll
outta bed and notice my boxers were wet. I shrug it off as a wet
dream. We all have those as teenagers. So I took a shower and ate. I
went to go take a piss before I went to school and as soon as I
started pissing I began screaming.

I stayed in the bathroom for about 5 minutes until my dad knocked on
the door and told me to open up. I opened the door and the first words
outta my dads moth were
"Got the clap didn't ya son?"
I said "What the fuck is that? "
He said "Never mind get your coat we're going to the doctor's office"

I did as I was told. We got to the doctors office and I was right in.
The doctor was a woman in her mid to late 30's and I'd describe her as
little more than a milf. She was very hot.

So I explained what had happened. She told me to drop my pants. I did.
But what I didn't realize is that I had been staring at her tits the
entire time and had wood. FAIL!
So she laughs and goes to a fridge in the office gets an ice pack and
slaps it on my junk. God I was embarrassed. So the wood fades and she
goes to a cabinet in her office and pulls out a jar with wooden q-tips
that were long enough to joust with.
I asked "what are those for?"
"A sample she said" Relax, lie down and put your feet up."

Well she walks up to my wang and lubes me up. I'm thinking a Dr. porno
was about to go down!

NOPE fail take 2! She slides this 8 inch q-tip in my wang and tells me
to relax. Easy for her to fuckin say! Then she proceeds to tell me

"Ok I'm now passing your bladder and going into your prostate." I
breathe hard and about faint. She twirls and swirls it around once or
twice, pulls it out and I'm done." You did well the last guy actually
did pass out." I thought to myself "Shit I can see why." She goes to
analyze it and come back in about 20 minutes. "Well you have
Chlamydia." We can treat it with simple antibiotics." So I take five
pills and I'm done.

My dad tells me NEVER to mention this to my mother. Umm yea, glad that
has still never really come up… He's a smart guy!

I'm outta school for 3 days. Jessica tried calling over the next two
days and then just gives up. I call Jessica's friend Heather, on
Wednesday night and tell her what's going on. Heather is stunned; she
also tells me Jessica told everyone that she had sex with me just so
she could brag about taking my virginity. So again I'm pissed, I call
Jessica. I tell her what she did and I had heard what she said as
well. She gets pissed and tells me off and hangs up.

Well fuck that! Revenge was mine bitch!!! And to sum it up she was
from then on AND STILL known as "snaggle snatch" in town and I ended
up calling her one last time to have her hear me fucking her best
friend Heather. 2 months later she was pregnant with twins, and ended
up marrying a dude with a mullet. So karma does exist. And that's how
NOT to loose your virginity.

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